The Stepfather Question
If you have a few minutes today, please stop by and visit one of my favorite single mom columnists, Ona Gritz, whose recent column, The Stepfather Question, brought me to tears.
Ona, who also writes children’s books, lives in Hoboken, New Jersey, with her ten-year-old son, Ethan, and here’s a taste of her recent Literary Mama column:
When I finally found myself craving male company, I visited my friend Sean from graduate school. We went for a walk in the woods behind Sean’s house and laid pennies on the railroad tracks to be flattened. Sean entertained Ethan with goofy voices and elaborate stories. I came home that afternoon feeling ever so slightly in love with him.
“He’s great with Ethan,” I gushed to my girlfriend Susan. “Interested and attentive. The complete opposite of Richard.”
“Okay.” She sounded unimpressed. “But how attentive was he to you?”
“Oh, he…” I paused. The answer was not very. I didn’t need to say it aloud.
“Just think about it,” Susan cautioned. “Would you want to be with a man who was more focused on your child than on you?”
“No,” I admitted. “I’d feel neglected after awhile.”
“You deserve more than that,” she said.
What I deserved. It seemed a radical concept. I’d settled for so little in my marriage. When it ended, I expected to feel bereft. Instead I found myself exploring great questions. Did I want a man in my life? If so, what shape did I wish that relationship to take? And just how involved should this person be with Ethan?
single mom, stepfather, step parent, relationship, Literary Mama, writing, column \
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